Write it longer and shorter
When writing copy for a landing page, here’s a quick thing you can do that I find always results in stronger copy.
When you’ve distilled what you want to say in part of a page, like this example here…
You look at it and think, “yup, I’ve squashed it right down. It’s not going smaller or tighter than that.”
Look at that version, like you’re only half-way done editing.
Because you are.
Write a longer version. Write a shorter version. Write a one sentence version.
Feel out the ‘material’ of what you’re trying to say, and gain control over its most important elements by changing its form in this way.
I know it takes longer but if you want great copy, give it a try – my team does this for all website copy and you would be SHOCKED at the data on how much more performant copy is when you make the time to do it.
Give it a try, see what happens.